Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
