i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
