Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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