why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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