Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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