Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
