we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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