"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
