when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize
