Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
wow bdsm is so cute
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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