dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize