Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize