woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
