Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
