Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
