Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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