Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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