Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
ttyl tear gas
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
