just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
