hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Randomize
