so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
