im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
