Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
i out mim tonsoeep
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