you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
