Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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