I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
The power of my boobs compel you
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Randomize
