I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
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