i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Randomize
