...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
