tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize
