i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
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