ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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