Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
