she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Every concussion has its silver lining
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize