Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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