we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
