He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Randomize
