google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Holy shit dude........stairs
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
