YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
You did what with his pubic hair?
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
