I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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