He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize
