so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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