I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Randomize
