i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
