you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
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