But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
