And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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