You're completely useless in the revolution.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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