my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Do you have feelings for this penis?
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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