i permit you to call me
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
The air was thick with penises
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
