The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
