YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
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