Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Randomize
