I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
