This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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