why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize