Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
