i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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