1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
My cat gives me a boner
i will never coherently bang her
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
