got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Randomize
