I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
