Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Houston, we have a squirter
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Randomize
